Lack of Communication- the #1 Reason for Divorce
by: CalvinSorren | Total views: 3 | Word Count: 420 | View PDF | Print View
As researched by the American Counseling Association, the most common theme in all failed marriages is breakdown in communication. As Americans, we love to communicate, despite that fact, our communication is failing with the most significant person in our life. As a result, our country's divorce rate is holdings to 50%. This rate increases if you are in your second or third marriage.
The start of the lack of communication between spouses is usually not talking about the small things, letting the frustration and anger build up, resulting in larger issues. Smaller issues are much easier to work out than larger ones.
The key to having a healthy relationship is using communication to resolve issues and work out problems. Here are some keys to building communication with your partner:
1. Stay quiet and focused while truly listening to what each other is saying.
2. Listen to their words as well as emotions and underlying feelings.
3. Try to understand the other side of the argument. Try to have an understanding from another perspective, this doesnt mean you have to agree.
4. Let the other person know you are listening by rephrasing what they have told you and to ensure clear understanding.
5. Let the other person know that you are hearing their words as well as the underlying feelings. This validates the other persons emotions.
6. Tell your partner that you are truly sincere by being aware of the nonverbal messages you may be sending your partner. This can include facial expressions and tone of voice.
7. Using I statements to tell your partner what they are doing wrong and how you feel is key.
8. Make the person aware ahead of time that you would like to have a discussion. this will make it seem less like an attack and let them gather their own thoughts as well.
9. Set aside the time to talk, when you will be free from distractions of life or interruptions, such as kids.
10. Try to keep your discussion on topic.
The use of these tips should help and encourage you and your spouse in communicating on an effective level. And this may save your marriage. Try not to rehash past occurrences, keep your discussions present. The goal is to focus on solutions you can work on together.
The Light Your Fire program is an effective alternative to marital counseling. Find out how thousands have solved their marriage problems. As seen on Oprah and The View.
About the Author
Visit www.lightyourfire.com to explore more on communicating better with your husband, wife or significant other. Save marriage instead of going to counseling.
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